Taking Turns vs. Sharing

Why Focusing on Turn-Taking is More Effective in Positive Parenting

As parents, we often encourage our children to “share” as a way to teach kindness and cooperation. But have you ever noticed how challenging and frustrating sharing can feel, especially for younger children? Sharing requires an understanding of fairness and empathy that can be quite advanced for their developing brains. That’s where taking turns comes in as a powerful, more age-appropriate tool.

In positive parenting, focusing on taking turns instead of immediate sharing helps children learn patience, self-regulation, and respect for others’ needs and feelings—all in a more manageable way. When kids know their turn is coming, they feel more secure and empowered, making them less likely to have emotional outbursts or conflicts.

This approach also builds important social skills. Turn-taking gives children the opportunity to develop problem-solving abilities, practice waiting, and experience both giving and receiving in a structured way. It reduces stress for parents and kids alike because the boundaries are clear: everyone will get a turn, but not all at once.

I’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you encourage taking turns in your family, and what challenges have you faced with the traditional concept of sharing? Let’s discuss!